Overweight and doing something about it

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 Robin– Perhaps this is the reason you’ve been getting a lot of spam, no?

For about two weeks (really 2 ½ months), I’ve been dealing with conflict. Daily conflict involving life or death decisions.  It sounds serious and it is!

Source of all my mental and physical anguish: a $70 iron…

I know, I know you’re like girl please. McCormick get a grip, why you tripping? But before you get all high and mighty on me… hear me out.

Allow me to share my typical workday morning routine with you… Alarm clock goes off at 5 (only because the night before, I convinced myself, “I will wake-up early and workout” which by the way hasn’t happened yet, Lately I’ve opted for the noontime workout) Hit snooze about five times before I actually get up at 7, take Rocco for a quick walk around the corner, jump in the shower, pick out clothes to wear, iron said clothes, fix lunch, do hair and make-up.

Typical day until you consider this: My iron has frayed wires. So after the shower, I usually plug the iron in with my damp hands and wet hair. This means for the past two weeks, I received a daily shock and go to work with my hair resembling a cross between Scary Spice and Don King. Yep. It’s not pretty.

And since I am a SINGLE (any takers?) homeowner with a menancely mean Chihuahua, and bills out the wazoo to pay, getting a new iron is not a top priority. Femi, suggested I just go buy a cheap one from Target or Wal-Mart. Excuse me?

Ladies and Gentlemen:  Femi has lost his mind. It would be like going from first class to coach as Lil Kim once eloquently stated. My pricey iron has features, nice ones too, like a steam button, and a separate spray button, and automatic shut off features. The automatic shut off is my savior as I’ve been known to leave the iron on all day sometimes all week.

Here’s where Resourceful Me comes into the picture, I wrapped scotch tape around the frayed wires in order to plug in said iron. Then in order for me to unplug the iron, I shut off the power in my condo…. Reserve your judgment as I realized how ridiculous this is. So EVERY.DAY, I have to reset my alarm clock, the clock on microwave, and the timer on my AC, also the clock on my DVD and the clock on my Stereo. No big deal, right.

Wrong.

In order to ‘trick’ myself in getting to work on time, I need to set my alarm clock 20 minutes fast or 25 minutes fast or 30 minutes fast, you get the idea, right… Well, I can’t ever remember how fast my alarm clock is; so it’s resulted in me showing up to work extremely early. Once I think I accidentally set my clock one hour fast and showed up at work at 6:45am.

Crazy, huh?

I wrote two post, both of which I took down. Sometimes I write to vent. I thank everyone for their comments, I’m ok, seriously. And I’m reposting one, but not the other… 

And thanks again.

We know what happened to Kelsey Smith and everyone’s looking for Jessie Davis. But what about Stepha Henry?

From: Clueless friend
To: Enlightened One (Me)
Subject: Question

So I have a question. Why is it that when a person is drunk, and someone that isn’t drinking tells them they are drunk, it makes the drunk person mad? Have you experienced this or is it just me?

From: Enlightened One
To: Clueless Friend
Subject: Re: Question

Yes. I think it’s because you know you are drunk and you’re upset because the other person isn’t. You think that they think; they’re all high and mighty because they can abstain from drinking, either by choice or circumstances (pregnant).

I’ve experienced it first hand. Usually, someone is calling me out on being drunk (so what else is new?) it provides the same impact as Ricky Martin coming out of the closet.

So instead of feeling bad or getting upset or saying something you interpret to be intellectual, go with the shock and awe theory respond with “Yo momma!” Because it makes no sense and no one will question you because you’re drunk anyway.